Normally, I like to attack the New Year head on with a neatly organized and well thought out list of resolutions, which usually includes losing the extra 10 pounds I've packed on during the holidays. But making this year’s list feels totally different now that I have a three month old son. It has my sleep deprived, burned out self quickly realizing that I should probably just boycott the list this year since I now consider simple tasks like getting out of my pj’s and taking a shower an accomplishment. Those pre baby ways of attacking the day just don't seem to be working out for me anymore. It’s been quite a challenge to adjust to this new foreign world of motherhood. Trying to find my footing has really been tough. I guess it’s partly because my stubborn self still tries to do it all and operate like I used to. I would always look at the bigger picture, but now as a new mom it can easily be overwhelming. I have to keep reminding myself to pace it out. It’s like I’ve always been accustomed to sprinting to the finish line, but now it’s about retraining myself to slow down so that I can get through the marathon. I have to think about getting through the day, the hours, the minutes and not the whole month. It’s silly how I thought I was going to be one of those amazing mothers who could workout five days a week and still have loads of energy to hang with friends. It’s like Im learning to very slowly shed my old selfish ways and surrender to this new life. I do miss my carefree self, but I wouldn’t change it for anything. Now I understand when mother’s say its so hard but so worth it. You’re just so in love with your baby and you would do just about anything for them.
Motherhood has made me think a lot more about my past New Year’s resolutions. This year I want to do something different. I want to make a resolution to just be in the moment. My son is already teaching me to slow down and be good to myself so I can be the best mother for him. Its such a challenge though. I’m usually putting loads of pressure on myself, Today, I was watching my boy interact with our cat for the first time. I went for a walk with him, and he was smiling at me. Im his whole world and its amazing to see him look at things for the first time. So simple, yet so fulfilling. He’s already teaching me about what’s really important at the end of the day. It’s not so much being engulfed in these endless unrealistic resolutions and goals we set for ourselves. It’s about stopping and smelling the roses and being okay with that. I don’t want to miss these fleeting moments with him. It’s actually exactly what I need. Im just taking it one step at a time.
No comments
Post a Comment